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Ask the Yangxifu: Opposite-Sex Friendships in Asia

Tuesday, May 12th, 2020

Ask the Yangxifu: Opposite-Sex Friendships in Asia

Eleanor asks:

I’ve recently befriended a student that is chinese in the united states. We lived in Asia for just two years and talk Chinese just about fluently, but my grasp of Chinese friendship/dating culture is still pretty basic. He and I also have actually discussed checking out the probability of being significantly more than buddies, but both of us decided to simply simply just take additional time to arrive at understand one another in the same way buddies for the time being and never to hurry any such thing. I think there’s a clear undercurrent of attraction between us, and I’m stressed that when we decided we had been unsuitable romantically he would cool off friendship-wise too. In Asia, i did son’t see numerous opposite-sex friendships (besides with a high college aged children), and I also stress when we don’t find yourself dating that I would personally lose him as a pal too. We like and respect this person a whole lot, that our friendship can continue even if one of us finds someone else so I hope you can reassure me.

Nearly all my closest buddies in China are actually men — including Peter, a man we also call my “older sibling. ” But not one of them are ex-Chinese boyfriends. And given other yangxifu Jessica‘s response in this specific article about dating and marrying Chinese guys, I’m not by yourself:

It really is uncommon for ‘exes’ in China to keep buddies.

Therefore what’s up aided by the ex-factor? Numerous Chinese have suspicious whenever their spouse or partner continues a relationship having an ex — that, eventually, they’ll be more than buddies. (more…)